Date Night Inequity

My husband's preparations: 
1) Put on the shirt he knows I like.
2) Spritz of cologne

My preparations:
1) Pedicure in the gazebo so he won't smell the fumes.
2) Manicure
3) Plan my "look"
4) Glaze hair
5) Shave
6) Moisturize with self-tanner to attempt human skin tone on my legs
7) Research cute, retro hairstyles
8) Attack my hair with scalding hot curling iron in attempt to replicate cute hairstyle, while the sun scorches my retinas if I dare move a millimeter.
9) Fail miserably to replicate cute hairstyle- decide to just go with it.
10) Spray with hairspray
11) Spray with silicone shine gloss, to make recently fried hair look non-fried
12) Curl eyelashes
13) Apply foundation, bronzer, blush, eyeliner, eyeshadow, mascara, and lipstick
14) Throw together new outfit when crucial items for planned "look" cannot be located.
15) Run out the door, forgetting perfume.

Husband's step 3:  Say, "you look great, honey", making it all worthwhile.